Nobody wants to be the one who was vibrant and attractive once upon a time. The poster child of what supposedly happens with age or something. And sure while life can get overwhelming as a woman with a child, a partner and real life responsibilities that suggest you leave the heels at home, it can be pretty convenient to aim for comfort almost always. Its debatable “letting yourself go” can come in variations and levels. And everyone has an opinion on what that looks like.
The intense amount of pressure placed on women and men to pay attention to our appearance and that of others influences how we look at ourselves and our worth. And what that looks like on a day to day basis. Not to make mention that this obsession with looks often leads to comparison which is the thief of joy. The crusher of confidence and it just ain’t sexy. How ironic.
But let’s be real, this particular rude comment that some might have the audacity to say holds true to this; It is usually directed towards women significantly more than it is towards men. And it is more than likely to be said by a man to a woman than said by a woman to another woman, a woman to a man or a man to another man. It is predominantly mentioned by men in reference to women which only gives fact to the made normalcy of the obsession of the female physical appearance. It’s no doubt comments like ” you let yourself go” is a by product of patriarchal, lust filled point of views for centuries pertaining to what a woman should look like strictly from a man’s perspective.
Here’s why the concept is faulty AF, put plain and simple. There is only one you. There can never be a duplicate of you nor can you fully duplicate another. You can be in the same race but you will always run at your own pace. Comfy sweats pants, hair tied, chillen with no make up on??? Sure!! Who are making up the rules? Do we intend on letting someone else unbeknownst to us define our lives and what makes us beautiful and worthy to the public eye. I create the standard and so do you. It’s superficial ideologies like the concept of “letting yourself go” that are the cause to so many unnecessary unhealthy thoughts, disorders, body trends and the like.
Alhamdullilah for thriving concepts like body positivity and anything similar to it, campaigning for self acceptance, individuality and self love. Giving thanks for health and being less obsessed with perfection. Claiming your sexy with every stretch mark, pound and imperfection.
Some would argue there are always more important things to worry about. Well, of course. But then again there is always a time and a place for everything. You pick and decide because only you know where you are in your state of well being.
Reminders and To Do’s To Never Feed into The Lie Again.
No response at all is a response. It is absolutely ok and necessary not to give a reaction to what does not stimulate you positively; Comments, people and situations alike.
Stop comparing your body to photo shopped pictures. That’s insanity.
Give love to those that love you.
Try something different. Independently owned clothing items and accessories not only make for a unique look but offer individuality that is strictly your own. 22 Black Owned Clothing Brands You’ll Love and RawHandBags
Treating yourself is self care. Whatever that means to you, frugal or expensive…i love buying flowers and food.
I know you know but I’ll say it again, the lightest workouts done consistently can still make all the difference. A ten minute workout, a walk etc.
Keep reminding yourself how far you’ve come because you are not done yet. I can not stress how important positive self talk is over you and your life.
Packaged pampering collections from department stores like Macy’s are always a stress reliever for us muvas.
Whatever you choose to do, exercise, diet, new wardrobe, remember that nothing feels as good than when you are doing it for yourself. Make yourself happy.
No one can love you as hard as you love yourself and how you treat yourself gives others the blueprint for how to treat you.